Fearlessness...

Fear drives me.  It drives me in everything I do.  I could give examples from every role I play as father, son, teacher, student, coach...

Acknowledging fear is like turning a light on in a dark room - I think I heard that once in a yoga class, and I know I've said it before in my class.  Awareness brings light to fear so that it's not as scary.

Yet still fear persists, creeping in when tired and late at night or moments of doubt.  Or in moments of conflict, it rears it's head like a fire breathing dragon that can spew words of anger if provoked or threatened.

On our spring break lacrosse trip to St. Pete Beach, we woke up every morning for a 7am team dip; we called it polar bear despite the warm temps in the Gulf of Mexico.  I woke up extra early and meditated before the bleary-eyed boys arrived on the sandy beach.  One morning after reading the daily Living Yoga 365 email on fearlessness - I meditated on fear.  Fear of failure.  Fear of failing as a coach (as a teacher, father, etc.)

When the boys stumbled out, I asked that they sit for five minutes (if it was 15 they'd fall asleep), and think about what they fear, and realize that fear comes from love being threatened.   We love to win; we fear losing.  We love success; we fear failure.  We love to look good; we fear looking bad.  We love our family; we fear losing them or disappointing them.

The boys spread out along the beach and sat for a few minutes.  And then they jumped in the gulf, running in by class.  Who knows whether they meditated or what they thought... but if it begins the process of awareness - it's a step forward.

Fear can paralyze us.  On the field, a player avoids taking risks, afraid to make mistakes.  We learn from our mistakes so we can't be afraid to make them.  Fear then becomes a players friend, if tamed, to motivate and instruct.

I am afraid I have to cut this short - this has been a good writing meditation for me. Thank you for reading  - I need to write today.

Best,

Kevin

Threshold

March 31, 2012

Good Morning,

We are wrapping up our exploration of fearlessness. We will re-visit this topic when we explore warriorship again later in the year.

Let your heart be known, to yourself and others. The world needs our fearlessness.

With the disciplines of yoga, meditation we’re working at bringing forth capabilities we already possess. Awareness is intrinsic. The more we sit and the more we practice yoga the more these qualities of mind come naturally. We’re able to meet our habitual tendencies (samskaras) straight on. Then we have a choice how to act.  Then our whole state of being begins to function more wholesomely. We begin to feel more buoyant and cheerful as a result of practice. We may experience a greater sense of well-being.  We feel a greater confidence in our ability to work with our situation and our relationships effectively. Having a strong posture and an open heart helps us. Having the courage to know our fear, we are fearless.

Explore/Practice/Apply

Put yourself at your edge today. Have a conversation you’ve been putting off, do something that the thought of doing makes you want to shy away. Say no or instead say yes. Find something that engages the edge. What is that threshold for you?

Open to fear

March 30, 2011

Good Morning,

Everything is easier when we connect in, especially practicing fearlessness.

…The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness

to all situations and emotions.

And to all people – experiencing everything totally without reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes onto one’s self.

                                                          -Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Explore/Practice/Apply

Lie in Savasana (Corpse Pose). Place and eye pillow of a towel over your eyes. Let the ground receive you, feeling the support of ground below. With each out breath let more and more of your weight sink into the floor. With the support of the ground below, surrender. Open and become aware of breath, body, sensation, tender heart.

Celebrate the tender heart of the warrior today. Be fearless as you greet your day. Remember, fearlessness is simply the willingness to open to fear, acknowledging it directly, in its subtlety and intensity.

Gentleness

March 29, 2012

Good Morning,

Remember the relationship between fearlessness and gentleness. One can’t exist without the other.

 There is something unconditionally good about ourselves. Experiencing our soft spot (tender heart) we glimpse a larger world. We can use these glimpses to discover the path of courage.

                                                Cynthia Kneen, Awake Mind, Open Heart

Explore/Practice/Apply

Gentleness allows us to discover true fearlessness and courage. It is that soft spot that allows us to experience the world directly. Experience the unconditional goodness in yourself. Notice how that shapes the way you view yourself and others.

Opportunities

March 28, 2012

Good Morning,

As the adage goes, change is the only constant. Our relationship to change directly impacts the way we experience life. Enjoy this offering from Pema Chodron.

When you open to the continually changing , impermanent, dynamic nature of your own being and of reality, you increase your capacity to love and care about other people and your capacity to not be afraid. You’re able to keep your eyes open, your heart open, and your mind open, And you notice when you get caught up in prejudice, bias, and aggression. You develop an enthusiasm for no longer watering those negative seeds, from now until the day you die. And you begin to think of your life as offering endless opportunities to start to do things differently, endless opportunities to dissolve the seeds of war where they originate-in the hearts and minds of individuals like you and me.

                                                          -Pema Chodron

Explore/Practice/Apply

Look for the opportunities life presents you to keep your eyes, heart, and mind open. Every time we want to contract or avoid is an opportunity.

The joys of spring

Yesterday's 365 was a good reminder for me to remember the joy that can be found in the "little things." It also had me scrolling through my iPod to listen to 2 songs; "No Regrets" by Forest Sun and "The Little Things" by Carlos Bertonatti, as I was driving down I-70 enjoying the warm weather with the window rolled down. With the arrival of spring, it's fun to see nature budding into new life! I love the snow and the moisture it brings to allow the emergence of flowers from bulbs, the buds on trees turning into leaves, and the brown grasses becoming green again. Another simple pleasure of spring time is the return of flip flops. It's such a nice freedom of the feet after being crammed into ski boots all winter! And then there's spring break, which allows me to catch up with friends and family that I haven't seen in awhile. It was great to see Charry while she was out here, and to hear her beautiful giggle again! Having time to go down to my parents has been great too, while my brother and his family are here. It's amazing how quickly my niece and nephew are growing up and it's a lot of fun to hear all the stories and enjoy all the laughter! With seeing everyone, it reminds me of a quote I saw in the Vail Daily when I first moved to town:

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." Eleanor Roosevelt

Wishing you all the best,

Chris

Guard your thoughts...

“Day by day. Changing bad habits, planting permanent love with your thoughts, words, and actions.” ~Andrei

I love the quote above from today's LY365. I constantly try to remind myself to stay present. I find if I get too comfortable, then I am susceptible to fall. If I am too cautious, then I allow anxiety and fear to get in my way.

Day by day...

Taking out the head trash

head trash [hed trash]
noun:
1. A collection of limiting beliefs, thoughts, or ideas that prevent one from taking specific action that will help generate better results
2. Behaviors that unconsciously hold ourselves back

Last week while attending a sales and operations meeting, an attendee relatively new to my company repeatedly used the phrase "getting caught up in one's head trash." Use of the phrase got a chuckle from most of us in the session.

Since this meeting, I have been thinking aout about how the "head trash" can pile up in our lives. You know, those negative thoughts that might keep you from doing things that really matter like spending time with family, having a conversation with your boss, looking for a new job, taking a risk, exercising for example.

It is time to task out the trash.

Anxiety

March 27, 2012

Good Morning,

Anxiety is a mild form of fear. The tell tale sign of anxiety is tension in the muscles and the mind. Reacting with tension can become habitual so that we aren’t aware of our tendency to tighten in the face of stress.

When circumstances overwhelm, the body and mind switches into fight or flight mode. At these times blood pressure rises, adrenalin is released, heart rate quickens, and muscles tense. These physiological responses help us respond quickly to danger. For many fight or flight responses become habitual even when there is no danger. In fact some thrive on fight or flight calling themselves ‘adrenalin junkies’. The problem is that when the body and mind are chronically stressed the body starts to break down, disease can ensue, and reactive mind tends to dominate.

Explore/Practice/Apply

Practicing yoga and meditation can support efforts to change our relationship with stress. Stress is inevitable but we can change our relationship to stress so that it doesn’t zap us. Stress elicits creativity when we approach it skillfully.  Consider dropping language like, “I’m so stressed out.” Instead, get specific with your language like, “I’m tense.”   Rather than putting the locus of control on the stress, deal with the tension within you. Manage yourself, not the stress. Asana and meditation are tools we can utilize to change our relationship to stress.

As you go about your day, breathe when you feel challenged; cue your muscles to soften. Excitement is often within stress, see if you can approach a challenge with excitement instead of dread.

Competitive Attitude

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”
Buddha quotes (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)

Kindness

March 26, 2012

Good Morning,

The Tibetan Buddhist master, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche addressed fear in many of his teachings throughout his life. He said that in order to experience fearlessness it is necessary to experience fear and that the essence or cowardice is not acknowledging the reality of fear. Fearlessness results from going beyond fear. It is not a reduction of fear. The disciplines of asana, meditation, physical exercise provide us with a means to work with things like fear so that they don’t overwhelm us or dominate us.

Fearlessness isn’t being absent of fear. Fearlessness is not shutting down in the presence of fear. It is the willingness to face fear head on and experience all aspects of fear on the spot. It is acknowledging the quivery qualities, the not wanting to be present, the desire to distract and cover over, the sadness or anger. All of this becomes the feast for the warrior. All this becomes part of the path and an opportunity to deepen one’s experience of mind as well as an opportunity to cultivate compassion.

You feel fear and you soften to yourself. You let it penetrate your being with kindness and acceptance. There is no rejecting of any aspect of your experience. You accept it all as it is without trying to make it anything other than what it is.

Remember that is the essence of kindness. Rejecting or bypassing one’s experience is a form of self aggression.

The willingness to look at our experiences and show up for our self and others on the spot is the essence of fearlessness and warriorship.

Explore/Practice/Apply

It seems that so often we are reactive so that we don’t even know what caused us to react. These reactions can be subtle or more obvious. Notice all the little anxieties that come up during the course of the day. These are subtle manifestations of fear. Watch your tendencies to react and instead see if you can get curious and drop the story line and be with the experience.

Back in Hudson!

Got back to NE Ohio late last night. Thanks for the ride Sandee!!!!

We woke up to green grass and colorful flowers in bloom everywhere! Quite a contrast to the melting snow and brown rocky heights of Vail. It made me realize that Spring is in full swing and we missed Spring solstice in the blasts a few days ago. Notice if there have been any changes in your appetite, your skin, or your energy levels recently.

It was so great to see so many of you over the course of the last 2 weeks! The clean air and water of the mountains felt so good. The strength of the mountains was also a reminder to be brave and steadfast in the face of change.

Let Elena and I know if you need anything specific regarding your practice or anything that is arising on your mat.

Have a great Sunday!--Charry

Blogging again :)

It's been a while since I blogged, and it's good to be back.

I've been preoccupied with lacrosse and life.

Last week, we had an incredible team trip to FL - 31 players and three coaches, 16 hours of practice, and 4 scrimmages.  It was the first time we made the trip and I would definitely do it again.  Yet learned a few things that will make it smoother travels next time.  Nevertheless, once we do something once, we gain confidence that we can do it again.

As I go through this first season as head coach at WRA, questions and concerns abound. It's a great responsibility to nearly fifty boys and their parents: communication is key, but it eats time.

The days I don't meditate quickly turn into general anxiety days - too much to do and too little time.

The days I make the time to meditate - the anxiety melts  - and I get clear and focused.

Meditated today and it was good.

More soon - sorry to be a stranger.

Kevin

Snow!

Finally, snow in the mountains!

As I try to soak up the elements, I realize how unappreciative of the surrounding beauty I became living in Vail for the past 14 years. Notice what you used to enjoy and appreciate that you longer do. Maybe, it's not a place, or an activity, but a person.

Just notice. What would life be like if you could see and feel as though you did when you first fell in love. Wouldn't that be an incredible way to live.

--Charry

Bruce on clutter....

When I was a kid we lived in a house with no garage.
Every nook and cranny was jam packed with stuff,
even the space inside the roof.
Me and my two brothers developed the "Vacuum"
theory which stated that where ever there was
an empty space or available surface it would be
filled with stuff.

I guess I'm still working on becoming stuffless
(I just made that up, sounds like a real word doesn't it?).

Cheers

Bruce

From Bruce...

The Subtlety of Language by Jim Rohn

I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, whichof course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as thelanguage we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others.Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to startsaying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for thebest and moving toward the best.

A few examples could be, instead of saying "What if somebodydoesn't respond?" you start saying, "What if they do respond?"Instead of saying "What if someone says no?" you say "What ifthey say yes?" Instead of "What if they start and quit?" you say"What if they start and stay?" Or instead of "What if it doesn'twork out?" you say "What if it does work out?" And the list goeson and on.

I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really wantthen your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. Andsometimes it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustratesyour attitude and philosophy.

Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. Ateenager says to a parent, "I need $10." If the parent learns to say,"That kind of language doesn't work here. We've got plenty of money, butthat's not how you get $10," then you teach your teenager how to ask,"How can I earn $10?"

That is the magic of words. There is plenty of money here. There ismoney for everybody, but you just have to learn the magic words to get them—foreverything you could possibly want, if you just learn the philosophy. How couldI earn $10? Because you can't go to the soil and say, "Give me aharvest." You know the soil smiles and says, "Who is this clown thatbrings me his need and brings me no seed." And if you said to the soil,"I've got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while Isleep?" the soil says, "No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep andI'll be working while you're sleeping."

If you just understand these simple principles, teaching them to ateenager (or adult) is sometimes just a matter of language. It's like aninvestment account instead of a savings account. Simple language, but soimportant. It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn someof these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all thechallenges that don't work out simply from not reading the book, not listeningto the tape, not sitting in the class, not studying your language and not beingwilling to search so you can then find.

But here is the great news: You can start this process anytime. For meit was at age 25. At 25 I'm broke. Six years later I'm a millionaire. Somebodysays, "What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind ofthinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?" And I say,"No. Any person, any six years, 36 to 42, 50 to 56. Whatever six years;whatever few years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal-developmentcurve, learning curve, application curve, and learning the disciplines. Now, itmight not take the same amount of time, but I'm telling you the same changesand the same rewards in some different fashion are available for those who paythat six-year price. And you might find that whether it's in the beginning tohelp get you started, or in the middle to keep you on track, that your languagecan have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.

Reminder from the mountains

These things I am starting to believe in:

1. Practice kindness.
2. Practice compassion.
3. Give as much of both to ourselves. You have an endless supply of both.
4. Practice with fierce determination. We all make "mistakes", keep on keeping on.

Have a great day!--Charry

Self Study

While reflecting on the topic of self study, what is very clear to me is that happiness is a state of being. The Emerson quote below is one of my favorite quotes. It serves as a reminder that f I resolve to be happy, I will be. And, if I do not resolve to be happy, then likely I will not be.

This is a choice that is in all of our control. Why miss out on happiness!

Namaste,
Sandee

think about it...

How many times do we think we say what we mean, only to be "misunderstood" or "misconstrued" or down right "ignored"?

No matter how we practice open and honest communication, we are all wearing our own blinders. No matter how much we think we are listening, we are always putting our own spin on things. No matter how much effort we put on our mats, there will always be a certain amount of confusion in our lives.

So why even bother?

1. Our bodies always feel better after we do some yoga poses.
2. Our minds are always a little less cluttered.
3. Once we know that we are our own cause of suffering, is there any way other than trying to rid ourselves of our own patterns of suffering?

Just when you feel a sense of progress, beware.

Do the work. Don't expect "results". Be present with everything as it arises. It is not about "not feeling", it is about feeling exactly what and who you are moment by moment.

Notice when you want to run away from all of That!

Keep practicing! You can do it!!!--Charry

From Bruce...

Okay,

Yesterday morning I'm studying and start to feel
completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of
work and a feeling that I don't have the answers.

I go for a walk and spend time in my garden to
just calm down a bit.

I get back into my office and flick through to
the homework task I'd been given to find that
answers were in the back all the time!

Just goes to show that we can blow things
out of proportion eh?

You know. I think this is more about fear than fearlessness.

The main point is I got through it. No matter how it seamed
or how I felt at the time.
Today is another day, I'm feeling much better and I'm taking
the actions I can to stay that way.

PS I'm reading a book: "Learned Optimism" a most fabulous
read. Almost required reading I reckon.

Cheers

Bruce

What if's

Today while in Charry's restorative class, I found "what if's" floating in and out of my mind. I have had some issues that have been trying to resolve. Though I feel like progress has been made, the pace has been slower than I would have liked. The unresolved topics were ripe for a visit from the "what if's." While trying to focus on my hour of restoring, I relaized the "what if's" are are keeping me from closure. I recalled the Shel Silverstein poem "Whatif" and thought I would share it, so we might all put "What if's" in their proper place.

Whatif by Shel Silverstein

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

Namaste,
Sandee

No regrets

When I read today's LY365 email, I recalled the following writing of Mary Ann Rachmacher:

“Living eulogy.
she danced.
she sang.
she took.
she gave.
she loved.
she created.
she dissented.
she enlivened.
she saw.
she grew.
she sweated.
she changed.
she learned.
she laughed.
she shed her skin.
she bled on the pages of her days,
she walked through walls,
she lived with intention.”

Namaste,

Sandee

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ”

Injuries

Sometimes being fearless means listening to your injury. For example, when "everyone" in class is doing a pose a certain way, but it hurts you to do the pose that way, finding your own variation takes courage.

Especially shoulders.

If you have tweaks and twinges happening around your shoulders and the classes are heavy with sun salutations, it takes a certain amount of courage to rest in child's pose, go straight to DDog, or just go from standing pose to the next standing pose. It is better to be able to keep going to class, than continue to worsten the injury and have to pull out of classes all together.

Low Backs.

Take it really slowly. Careful on the twisting. Open the chest and upper back. Really tuck your tail bone. Work belly to spine.

Be mindful. Be patient. It isn't about the poses, it is about your mind in the poses. Be receptive.

--Charry

Happy March!

Hope you enjoy our discussion of Fearlessness. Please blog with inspiration or experiences that inspire the exploration.

Celebrate March with an extra 5 minutes of meditation today!

--Charry