In The Dark

Here we go.

A shift of seasons is upon us. Lots of changes. Schedules, routines, weather.

Acceptance of what might not change is part of riding the wave of constant change. Accepting that I am not the most organized person. Accepting my forgetfulness. Accepting my lack of house cleaning ability. Accepting that I can't really keep my car clean. Accepting the sense of a life that is so full it overflows and feels overwhelming most days. Acceptance that I can't do it all myself. Acceptance that my way may not be the best, or only, way. Of course, I keep trying to "improve" all these things, all these foibles, all of these "imperfections".

On the flip side, it helps when I recognize that my "imperfections" are in relation to someone else's "perfections", or someone else's "standards", or someone else's "way". When I sit in judgment of myself, comparing myself to someone else, I will never measure up. I will always be less. I will always be imperfect. I will never "have" enough or "be" enough.

But, if I can accept "me" and "my way" for what it is and keep trying to improve by being kinder (to myself), more understanding (of myself), more patient (with myself), then the pressure lessens, I can take a deep breath, I can let go of some things "I" don't need to be involved with.

I can acknowledge the steady eddy existence of my Greater Self. I can shed some expectations, be brave by opening up to my reality. Underneath the "need" to be good, be successful, be rich, be famous, be all these descriptive things on the outside, I can just be. Me. Which is you, which is her, which is him, which is it, which is That.

Now that is balance.